This is the home of the Good Girl Guide focuses on self-development which is aimed to help you emerge into adulthood whilst you regain your independence, self-esteem and sexual confidence. The Good Girl Guide will help to give you different methods to explore your affection and sexuality. Your affection and sexuality may have previously been halted due to parent’s roles and value system.
Parental roles include the protection of their child but when this over protection escapes over into affection or sexual limitations within emerging adulthood it can cause developmental issues. Affection or sexual limitations may have been put in place to help protect a person’s innocence. Maintaining innocence protects someone from experiencing problems like being blamed, shamed or have feelings of guilt due to their personal actions.When affection or sexuality are limited, it shields people from both, good and bad experiences. The good experience may include love, a place of belonging and sexual exploration. The bad experiences may include rejection, accidents and reduction of social experiences. Although bad experiences bring temporary discomfort they also allow people to learn from first handed experiences to build resilience. Learning from smaller troubling situations will give the person the ability to handle bigger situations in the future.Benefits of developing affection and sexuality through emerging adulthood include:
- Displays affection appropriately
- Promotes feelings of safety, caring and commitment with their partner and families
- Gain a healthy understanding of safe sex
- Develops self-esteem, self-expression, self-respect and self-awareness
- Develops resilience
- Develops courage to pursue desired goals and take risks
- Fosters healthy relationships with their peers and family
- Allows the person to confide in their family for advice
- Builds realistic views on relationships and sexuality
- Develops independence to face responsibilities
Over-protective parents generally have a traditional set of family values that include the family composition, opinions, views, characteristics, roles, purpose with an idealistic nature. These values are passed from great grandparents to grandparents to parents to their children. They can also come from having a religious background.
Although over-protective parents do their best to love, guard and nurture their family. Some of their parenting methods and value system may not be useful in today’s society and culture views, especially in regards to the acceptance of sexuality.
Following the breaking free methods will help you gain the benefits of the development of affection and sexuality that you may have previously missed. Economic factors play a big part in breaking away from your parent’s value system. It is important in this process to become financially independent so you are able to buy the lifestyle services and product’s you need, as well as giving you the ability to move out of home. Whilst you are working on financial independence you will delve into the psychology of exploring outside of the boundaries as well as building your skills of affection and exploring your sexuality.
When you are experiencing things like using makeup for the first time, getting a haircut and going shopping. Your peers may have already been through it or are going through, so you can ask them for help which will provide a further social connection to build rapport, bonds and build upon friendships which will extend your social circle outside of the family environment.
Your family may not understand how to express affection appropriately or they may use a different method of displaying affection that is not obvious. Take time to understand what “5 Affectionate Actions – Love Language” they are using, so you can understand them better.
If your family not affectionate, you can spend some time reconnecting with your family in an attempt to rebuild an emotional bond that may be lacking. Although it may be an uncomfortable and awkward to build rapport with your family, it is a good opportunity to try and show them that you love them and care for them.
Religion can create boundaries within your sexuality especially if you may participate in sex outside of marriage. It is important to understand how religion may be affecting your lifestyle and perception of self-acceptance. Within our modern society, we take a combination of the media, peers, education, communities and religion to create our very own sexual identity of what is ethically acceptable.
To build upon your sexuality you will need to invest time in understanding you how to have your first date, how to kiss and learning to masturbate. Whilst you are learning how to break free, you will also learn how to have the best orgasms in the world which is a lot of fun!
You can also learn how to give hand jobs, blows jobs and cunninglus. When you are preparing for sexual intercourse, you will need to understand whether you are ready and how to have sex. Most importantly you will need to invest in contraception for protection against unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.
This may be your very first guide to the world of sexuality. The Good Girl Guide is aimed for you to be the best version of yourself. Emerging adulthood is meant to be an awkward, challenging and fun experience full of a lot of experimentation. Everything you do, you have to make sure that you are in a safe environment. You also have to be emotionally and physically happy with your decisions.
I found within my lifestyle, it was important to rebuild the over-protective nature into something which breeds self-acceptance of my sexuality and the love of my partner.